


Brilliance Everlasting

by retribution



Series: Brilliance [1]
Category: Free!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Attempt at Humor, M/M, Minor Character Death, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Samurai, Samurai AU, Swordfighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-25
Updated: 2014-12-25
Packaged: 2018-03-03 11:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2848889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/retribution/pseuds/retribution
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The curse that began a tragedy, the kiss that ended it.</p>
<p>(Possibly for the RinRei Secret Santa exchange, a somewhat epic fantasy samurai AU of Rin/Rei as maybe requested by a definitely special someone.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pinkgrasshopper](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinkgrasshopper/gifts).



> Probably a Samurai AU requested by Ruby-chan-san! The main pairing is Rin/Rei of course, but there is a little implied almost-Rei/Nagisa/Gou throughout that gets resolved. Warning for unnamed character deaths, minor violence, fever-induced-delirious writing at the end...

The day the wandering samurai set foot in their inn, a warm wind blew from the east, carrying the scent of faded cherry blossoms.  As he passed through the threshold, he brought along a flurry of pink petals swirling onto the floor around his sandaled feet.

The samurai asked to stay for one night and gave them the last of his money.  Nagisa, the one who greeted him, took the small purple pouch offered and tucked it into his pocket to give back to the penniless stranger later.  Then, with a big smile, he grabbed his hand to show him to his room.

Trying to pull his hand back and failing, the samurai lifted his straw hat slightly to reveal a solemn handsome face with spectacles settled on his nose.  “I only paid for my horse to be stabled,” he said in a low voice, “I do not require a room.”

Laughing, Nagisa waved away his protests, tugging the samurai along, down the hall and up the stairs.  “We can’t allow a guest to sleep outside!  There are no other visitors at the moment, so please make yourself at home.  Here, you can have this room, and use of the bath, and when you come down for dinner, I will introduce you to Gou and the rest!”

“I don’t want to intrude…”

“You’re not intruding at all!  Please, stay with us? Please?” Nagisa begged, throwing the full force of his sunny charm at the stranger.  Who cleared his throat and averted his eyes, but finally blushed and nodded in acceptance.  At Nagisa’s persistent questioning, he also surrendered his given name, if not his family name, and origin.

“Oh, you lived close to where I grew up!” Nagisa exclaimed.  “But that’s so strange, I would have definitely remembered someone as cute as you…”

The ronin, calling himself Rei, paled slightly.  “Ah, that is, I did move away as a child…”

“Nagisa!  Call me Nagisa!” he offered without actually being prompted.

“Nagisa.”  Rei smiled at him, a rusty sort of smile, as if he had had little to smile about during his life, but all genuine and pure in its sincerity.  Absolutely smitten, Nagisa finally tore himself away from Rei to tell Gou and the others about their new guest.

 

After checking on his horse and setting his bag of meager possessions into the guestroom, Rei went in search of a much-needed bath on silent feet, with one wary hand resting on his sword hilt.  Nagisa soon found him fluttering like a crow in the hallways, and squeezed the both of them into the tiny room.  Rei vehemently refused at first to bathe with someone else present, but he could not quite kick his extremely kind and generous host out, and so he ended up stripped and scrubbed and rinsed, soaking in the small tub while Nagisa squatted on a stool beside him in order to comb out his hair.

“You have such beautiful hair, Rei-chan!”

“Rei-chan…?”  Rei shook his head, but did not reject the familiarity, too relaxed from having a bath for the first time in weeks to actually protest.

“You should let Haru-chan trim the ends,” Nagisa commented, having gotten the last tangle out and now running his fingers through long dark locks.

“Maybe some other time.”  Fighting back a yawn, Rei made to get up, but Nagisa stopped him.

“Oh, your clothes need to be cleaned, so wait here, I will get you a new robe.”

“That will be fine, I can…”  Nagisa was already long gone with his clothing.  Rei sighed and sat back down in the tub.  He wondered if it was not too late to sleep in the stables with a quieter, much more manageable horse, but the concept of clean clothes was also tempting, so he ended up waiting quietly for Nagisa to return. 

 

Now dressed in a slightly too-short kimono, his hair tied up out of his face with a new blue ribbon, Rei made his appearance in the common room to meet the other proprietors of the inn.  He bowed formally to Makoto and Haru and Gou, then took his seat next to Nagisa, observing them with keen eyes.

They seemed too young to be owners of the property, in their late teens or early twenties, but they carried themselves with maturity and cordiality that gave him confidence.  Gou, the maiden serving him tea, stared at him, or at least his forearms, in open admiration, and he could not help noticing her beauty and poise far more fitting of a princess than that of a servant girl.  Nagisa of course gave off an air of carefree pleasantness, yet he somehow moved with the coiled energy of a warrior trained from childhood.  Makoto, the supposed account-keeper, with his impressively muscular build, must have surely practiced the way of the samurai as well despite his gentle manner.  But above them all, Haruka, their cook, emanated an intensely powerful aura; Rei had seen that look once before, and recognized it as the expression of a prodigy of the sword.

These were the ones he had been searching for.  And they seemed to realize, in turn, that he saw them for who they truly were.  As they ate a modest meal of rice and mackerel and pickled vegetables, conversing about the weather and various innocuous topics, the unease in the room seemed to grow.  Finally, Rei set his chopsticks down, thanking them for the free meal, then turned to Gou.

“I must confess something, Lady Matsuoka.”

They had not revealed their family names to him, and the other three immediately tensed, hands flicking to their waists for weapons that were not there.  Noticing this, Rei pushed up his glasses and continued.

“It seems that while trying to untangle my hair, Nagisa ended up breaking two of your combs.  I am very sorry.  As soon as I am able, I will replace the cost of them to you.”

Gou turned to Nagisa, both of them still visibly stunned, not certain how to react next.

“I thought we weren’t going to tell!” Nagisa said at last in consternation.  “Rei-chan is too honest.”

“Y-you don’t have to worry about that, Rei-san, I have plenty of combs!” Gou replied with a nervous laugh, while Makoto and Haruka relaxed slightly.

“It is a matter of honor,” Rei said simply.  “But as you can see, I have few ways to earn money, and none will be of any use here.”  He gave them a significant look, and they had the decency to look embarrassed.

“You figured out who we are already?” Nagisa asked, puffing his cheeks.

“Of course, it is very obvious,” the ronin answered.  “The distance of your inn away from the road, facing a desolate seashore instead of a village, the dust in the corners, indicating that you have few guests, if any, to rent your rooms over the past few years, and yet you do not seem to want for money.  The wariness with which you move, the formal language you slip into, the calluses on your hands that do not coincide with menial lower-class labor…  There is only one possibility which would account for all four of you.”  Rei paused, then took a deep breath.  “I have been searching for you for a long time, actually.”

“If you’re trying to turn us in for the warlord’s bounty, we would all rather die than go back!” Gou declared, eyes flashing.

“I will not turn anyone in, Lady Matsuoka,” Rei assured them earnestly.  “I only wish to train with Haruka-san in the art of the sword, having heard of his unsurpassed skills.  I have sworn a vow against taking a life unnecessarily, but as long as I have this katana in my possession, my goal shall be to master it and become stronger.  With the help of all of you, if you would accept me.”

Haruka narrowed his eyes, and Makoto glanced at him briefly before redirecting his gaze to Rei.  “We are trying to live peaceful lives away from Lord Yazaki and his mercenaries.  Training you would draw unnecessary attention to everyone here, at the least.  Furthermore, we do not know you, even if you claim you were born in the same city.  How could we be certain of your intentions?”

“I will show you what I am capable of,” Rei explained, unruffled by this reasonable doubt.  “Make your decision after I demonstrate my fighting skills.”

“What?  You want to challenge us?”  They looked at him as if he had gone insane, as if this was going to make him seem any less dangerous.

“Right now, all three of you, if you wish.”

“You seem very confident that you can win…  Are you sure you know who we are?”

“To be accurate, I am certain that I can convince you that I am worthy of training with you.”

Gou rolled her eyes at the not-very-well-smothered eagerness in Haruka’s face, but she was smiling as well, having gotten used to the aggressive whims of young warrior men by this point.

“I want to fight,” was all Haruka said.

While holding Haruka back from retrieving his weapon with one arm, Makoto smiled benevolently at their guest, saying, “Unfortunately, it’s too dark outside at the moment.  Tomorrow morning, in the interior courtyard.  Show us what you mean then, Rei.”

“I agree.  Let us meet again tomorrow.”

 

Nagisa followed Rei to his room, looking worried despite a good effort to remain positive.  “Rei-chan… There are only 4 samurai clans left in Iwami, our families.  If you are not one of us, then… who are you?”

“As I’ve said, I will explain everything in the morning, if Haruka-san agrees to accept me as his student.”

“Haru-chan hasn’t drawn his blade ever since we left our homes, and he has never shown any interest in teaching that I’ve known.  What will you do if he does not accept you?”

“Then I will leave and continue my journey, and you shall not see me again.”

Sighing, Nagisa watched from the doorway as Rei unrolled the blanket onto the mats and extinguished the lantern light.  He slid the screen closed and whispered sadly to himself, “But I don’t want that.”

 

* * *

 

 

The four of them met in the courtyard in the pale light of dawn, while Gou watched from within the building.  Their swords were still sheathed, each one appearing different, custom-forged to match their wielder’s strengths and temperament.  Nagisa carried a wazikashi, its discreet length more suited to his smaller stature, while Makoto carried the longer-bladed odachi, brutish in its cutting power.  Haruka’s katana seemed plain in comparison to Rei’s blade in its brilliantly lacquered sheath, but Rei was wise enough to not underestimate one of the elite samurai families of Iwami, who were trained as soon as they could walk in the art of the sword.

For several minutes, they regarded him, observing his stance, searching for any weakness before the crucial moment of the draw.  Out of nowhere, Nagisa moved first, a shining meteorite over the flagstones of the courtyard, followed by the roaring rush of Makoto’s charge afterwards.  Gou did not even notice when Rei moved, yet there sounded two almost simultaneous loud clatters, as both the wazikashi and odachi fell to the ground, their wielders empty-handed and shocked.  At the other end of the yard, she saw how Haruka had managed to keep hold of his blade despite the force of Rei’s blow.

Rei was staring at him, seemingly confused that Haruka had not been disarmed after his attack.  All this time, the ronin had not drawn his own katana, which meant he had disarmed both Makoto and Nagisa and broke through Haruka’s defense with just a sheathed sword.

Now recovered from the surprise, Haruka said quietly, “Draw your blade, Rei.”

“Very well.  But you should know that this is my last resort to convince you, Haruka-san.”  In one swift motion, Rei drew his katana, the tip of the blade tearing through the air, producing an impossible sound like the scream of a woman.

“The Widow’s Wail!” Makoto whispered in recognition.

“Is that why he did not draw first?” Nagisa asked cautiously.

They had all heard that sound before.  It always meant one thing.  A cry for blood, a thirst for death. 

Haruka knew that sound well, had heard it from the blade of his only true rival, and the challenge it sang lit up his eyes with a rare and deadly passion.  He lunged forward inhumanly fast, the smooth slash striking scintillating sparks against Rei’s katana.  One more clash, and Rei was easily disarmed.

Makoto and Nagisa and Gou glanced at each other, then at Haruka.  Then finally at Rei, who apologized and went to pick up his katana with trembling hands.

“I hope that clarifies some things,” Rei said with an embarrassed little smile.

“So the reason Rei-san didn’t draw first is because he does not know how to use the katana,” Gou murmured, suddenly understanding.

“Ehh?!”  Though it made sense to them now, that Rei really had taken a vow against killing, holding his katana the way a policeman would hold a truncheon – to stop someone, rather than to kill them.

“Rei, how did you survive all this time without knowing how to use your sword properly?” Makoto asked in disbelief.  “To carry a katana openly while traveling as a ronin, there is no way you could avoid every duel or attack.  Were you disarming everyone before they drew their blades?”

“That is correct,” Rei replied, sliding his glasses up with two fingers of one hand in an almost sheepish gesture.  “Haruka-san is the only person whom I have not yet disarmed immediately.  I can take down almost any unarmed person through other means, although I try to avoid it.  But… I cannot fight with a drawn sword.  At all.”

“You really do need to train with us then, Rei-chan!” Nagisa said, practically laughing in his relief.

“The Widow’s Wail, though,” Makoto muttered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.  “There are only two swords in Japan that make that sound, the twin star swords forged by Sasabe-sensei.  I believe the Matsuokas have Blood Fang still.”

“Yes, my brother wields it now,” Gou confirmed.  “Then you must have Azure Wing, right, Rei-san?  How did you find it?  We thought it had been lost forever.”

Rei frowned, answering only after an uncomfortable silence, clearly not expecting anyone to make these connections.  “This sword is my family’s heirloom. I was the one holding onto it all this time.”

“Your family’s heirloom?”  Gou turned pale.  “But my grandfather gave Azure Wing to the Ryuuguzakis...”

“Who were all executed years ago,” Haruka finished for her.

“Nearly all,” Rei said quietly.  “I was the only one left.”

The four of them stared at Rei, realizing now how he knew of them, but they did not recognize him.   The Ryuuguzakis of Iwami were scholars, not samurai, whose deaths had been ordered when the usurper, Lord Yazaki, took over Lord Matsuoka’s position in a bloody coup, and proclaimed them as conspirators and a threat to his rule.  The entire clan was put to the sword and their estate burned to the ground as an example to the rest of the city.  Azure Wing, which had been used by the Ryuuguzaki bodyguard up until the moment he opened the gates to Yazaki’s assassins, had not been seen since that tragic day.

Her eyes shining with sorrow, Gou strode up to Rei and took one of his hands hand into her own.  “I think we all have questions that need to be answered.  Tell us your story, Rei-san, and we will explain what we can.  You, out of everyone, deserve that much from me.”


	2. Chapter 2

He was nine years old when the family’s home was invaded.  The sound of a woman’s scream ripping through the night air had woken him up, and he huddled under his blanket in fear.  There were shouts in the front courtyard, his father’s anguished yell, his mother’s cry for mercy for her children.  Remembering what he had been told, Rei scrambled through an opening in the wall towards his older brother’s room.  But his brother was not there, and he heard his sibling’s voice raised in pain and desperation off in the distance.  In the following silence, broken occasionally by the death cries of the servants, he heard footsteps approaching, and he searched frantically for a weapon to defend himself.  Only to find his brother at the doorway, bleeding heavily from a mortal wound.  Collapsing on the floor, he reached up to pull Rei into his arms, before closing his little fingers over the sheathed katana he had been carrying.  They lay on the ground together, while his older brother shrouded him with his cloak and smiled at him and told him to be strong.

Rei had lain frozen in horror that way, watching his brother breathe his last, too afraid to move and risk getting discovered while the mercenaries went on their murderous rampage.  Hours later, when he could not hear a living creature anywhere, he dared to peek out from under his brother’s cloak, debating making a run for it, though he did not know where to go or what to do, or if he even wanted to leave his poor slain family to be eaten by worms and crows.  Behind the rice paper screen, he noticed someone approaching straight for this room, and he scurried under the cloak again.

He was not immediately aware of who had found him, for his eyes had difficulty adjusting after the long darkness.  All he could tell was that their voices were still youthful, their footsteps quiet upon the wooden floor.   As his brother’s body was pushed to the side, Rei flinched from the sudden light of the lantern, and the three youths made similar noises of surprise and recognition.  He heard fierce whispering for a few moments, frantic debating over what to do with the last of the Ryuuguzaki clan, and then having come to a decision at last, one of them knelt beside him.

“We’re not here to hurt you, Ryuuguzaki,” the youth said, sounding grim.  “But we have only a little time before the assassins return to burn this place to the ground.  You have to do what we say if you want to live, otherwise we will not hesitate to finish the mission.  Do you understand?”

For a moment, Rei considered death, for life without his family seemed a life not worth living, but something in that youth’s voice pushed that thought away and made him nod yes.

“Good.  Sousuke, Kisumi, bury the body with the rest, I’ll stay here and watch him.”

Unable to really protest, Rei let them take his brother’s corpse away to be interred with their parents in a grave opened too soon.  The boy who stayed behind wet a cloth with water from a bottle and began washing the dried blood off his face and hands.

“Are you hurt anywhere?” he asked.  Rei shook his head no.

“Your eyes, though…”  The boy trailed off, while Rei squinted up at him, trying to make out his features.  “They will take a while to heal, I suppose.  Here, drink, you must be thirsty.”

The water was cool and clear and tasted sweet, but the smell of death still clung to him despite the boy’s best efforts to get him clean.  The other two soon returned from their rushed burial, nervous and dirty.

“They’re not here yet,” the tallest one reported, “but we should hurry if we want to avoid questions.  Do you have a plan, Rin?”

“Of course I do.”

“Because we came here to retrieve the katana, if you remember.”

“I know that, Sousuke!” Rin, the first boy it seemed, snapped.  

“Here, hand the sword over to us, little bird,” the one who must be called Kisumi said gently to Rei, holding out his hands.

Rei clutched the katana closer to his chest, not willing to give it up just yet.

“Oi, that is not yours to keep,” Rin told him irritably.  “I killed the one who borrowed it, it belongs to me now.”

His voice rasping, Rei spoke for the first time.  “You have family and friends and a home.  I have nothing but this left.”

“Is that what you think?”  Rin laughed, the sound bitter and hollow despite his youthfulness.  “I guess you haven’t heard yet, all the way out here, but my father was killed, my home taken over, and my mother and sister have been imprisoned to ensure my obedience.  These two with me, they’re not even living in the same city, but they have been coerced into service, as with all of my friends.”

Shocked, Rei finally recognized the boy had found him, the Matsuoka heir, and the knowledge that the most powerful clan in Iwami had been defeated filled him with despair.

“You are not the only one who has suffered, Ryuuguzaki, however, your loss this night will keep us from suffering more.”

Clenching his fingers about the katana’s sheath, Rei bowed his head, too overwhelmed by loss and grief and the burden of a hopeless future.  He should have died, should have run out and faced the assassins and let them execute him, he thought, if the constrained life led by these boys was what awaited him.  Then he felt a hand grasp his chin, tilting his face upward, and this close, Rei could see the details of Rin’s face, feel long tousled hair brush against his cheekbones, smell a faint scent of beeswax and copper and cherry blossoms.

“But I already have my own sword,” Rin said, something like sympathy softening his expression.  “I’ll let you keep this sword for now, I don’t need it, not like you need it.  Just remember to return it to me one day.  I will be waiting for you.  Stay alive until then.”

Rei glanced at the three of them, the unspoken question apparent in his face.

“Well, we’re going to take you away from here, somewhere safe, and Kisumi is going to convince the squad leader that no one survived, aren’t you, Kisumi?”  The boy in question nodded, smiling prettily.

“That’s the best we can do without risking our own lives.  The rest you will have to do alone.  Can you do it?”

He nodded numbly, just an automatic response to an uttered command.

With some regret, Rin set about cutting Rei’s hair into a less obviously aristocratic style with a dagger, while Kisumi helped him into the plainest kimono they could find at short notice.  Sousuke returned after a few moments, carrying a noticeably heavy traveling case, but Rei could not admonish him for stealing from his family’s coffers when he was the only one left to find benefit. 

 “Good luck, little bird,” Kisumi whispered softly into Rei’s cropped hair, before helping him onto Rin’s steed.

“Let’s go.”  The three of them rode out quietly through the back of the abandoned grounds, and Rei twisted around in the saddle for a moment to say goodbye to his family and home.

 

* * *

 

 

The sun was just rising when Rin and Sousuke and Rei headed out, and they rode until the afternoon, heading south and east.  They eventually arrived at a formidable looking temple with a high, tapering tower, hidden deep within the hilly country.

“This is Samezuka Monastery.  The monks here owe loyalty to no one, you will be safest with them.”

The representative of the monastery who met them at the gates looked extremely skeptical of Rin’s made-up story, eyeing Rei’s pale skin and soft feet and silk clothing with some suspicion.  Once Sousuke brought out the coffer full of gold, the monk decided to accept the situation, and he told Rin to not worry, for they will raise Rei as one of their own in secret until it was safe for him to leave.

Then it came time to part ways, which proved to be difficult once Rei finally began to cry, clutching at Rin pathetically, sobbing his heart out, causing Rin to tear up as well.

“Rei, you need to move on,” Sousuke said as comfortingly as he could while Rin tried to compose himself off to the side. “This is your future now.  But if you ever feel alone, just look at your katana.”  Sousuke pointed out the design of the hand guard and the decorations of the grip to Rei.  He could make out feathered wings in lapis and silver and mother of pearl on the guard, and a carved charm of a funny looking bird on the grip, but it was years later before he realized what Sousuke meant.

“Don’t forget.  We will be waiting for you to come back.”  With a surprisingly warm smile, Sousuke patted him on the shoulder and turned to comfort Rin.  They left him there, and though he looked out over the plains from the monastery’s tower every morning for months afterward, they never returned.


	3. Chapter 3

The other four sat in silence for a while, considering this sad tale that they had only heard of in passing as children, about a family they had never met.

“I am so sorry, I had no idea, Rei-san,” Gou said.  “My brother never said anything about what happened after he came back, only that he never found the sword.”

Judging by everyone else’s expression, they were not informed of this either.

“What happened after that, Rei-chan?” Nagisa asked.  “How did you end up here?”

“I spent five years at the monastery, studying and training,” Rei told them in the same serious voice.  “A traveler dropped by from Iwami one day, and hearing news of where I used to live, I sensed that it was time to move on.  The monks agreed it was time for me to leave, so they sent me to other masters for further training, though none of them were swordsmen.  Then I learned about your escape two years ago, and decided that if I ever found you, I would train with you.”

“But I’m sure any dojo would have accepted you as a student, even if you were not born into a samurai family.  Is… there a reason you have to train with us specifically?”

Wordlessly, Rei handed Azure Wing over to Makoto, and the other three crowded around him to look at the markings.

“Of course, I understand now.”  The bird inscribed all over the sword was a phoenix.  Death and rebirth.  It was clear to Haruka and Makoto and Nagisa and Gou what they needed to do at this time, what they had long been considering in their hearts, and Rei’s appearance, the meaning of this sword, only confirmed it.  They had to go back home, together, no matter what it would take.

“I was actually about to give up,” Rei confessed, taking the katana back.  “I had begun to think that all my plans, everything I had studied for, would never work out.  Even after arriving at your inn, I was not sure I was doing the right thing until Nagisa spoke to me, and I witnessed the beauty of Haruka-san’s swordsmanship for myself.”  Rei smiled at them sadly.  “But if you do not want to get caught up with me and my trouble, I would understand.”

“Don’t be silly, Rei-chan!” Nagisa insisted.  “This is a sign.  We are all involved now, I think we are meant to do this together!”

Haruka and Makoto nodded in affirmation, and Gou reached over to give Rei a hug as well.

“We were the ones who gained from your loss, and yet we ran away like cowards when things got a little difficult.  Whatever you need from us, I promise I will try my best to help.  I’m sure these three will, too.”

“Thank you,” Rei replied, squeezing her shoulders with only a little awkwardness.  “I would much rather go through with this with your help than without, so I appreciate it truly.”

“I think we have some time before we need to leave, Rei,” Haruka murmured.  “We can train you until then.”

“You will train me?!”  Rei flashed them one of his rare sweet smiles, bowing his head in gratitude.  “Thank you, Haruka-san, everyone, this means so much to me.  I-I will do my best!”

Unable to resist himself, Nagisa tackled him into a hug, too excited to hear that Rei will stay to even speak, while the others smiled at the two fondly.

 

* * *

 

Training Rei in the art of the sword turned out to be more difficult than any of the three young samurai could imagine.  He was fast and strong and clever, could easily match or beat them in any other measure, but he did not have the knack for fighting with a katana.  After each fruitless lesson, he would bow and apologize to Haruka and Makoto and Nagisa, promising to work harder with an expression of zen-like serenity on his face, then he would turn around and walk into a corner of the yard and clutch at his hair and scream in frustration.  There turned out to be a lot of screaming, Nagisa had never been so entertained in his life.

Weeks passed, and Rei barely made any progress past the draw, which would not work against the far more experienced warriors fighting for Lord Yazaki’s clan.

Still, Rei did not give up seeking perfection in his swordsmanship.  He felt that he finally found a home here in this lonely inn and a family with his new-found friends.  He found a reason to smile and laugh again, and if he never could master the katana, he thought it would be fine to stay here and forget the past.  But he knew he could not live in a beautiful dream forever.  He had a promise to keep.

 

* * *

 

Nagisa, who had been waiting for Rei in his room, found him practicing techniques outside in the courtyard one late summer night.  He watched in silence for a few moments, then ran to fetch the others from their sleep.

“Rei has learned how to use the katana?”

“That’s incredible!”

“He can really do it?”

Hearing their commentary, Rei paused in mid-stroke and sheathed his sword neatly.  He looked over at them, smiling slightly.  “It’s something.”

“You can see better at night, is that it?” Nagisa asked him.

“Ever since then… yes.”

“But there is something else.  Your style isn’t anything like ours.”

“It’s more like Rin’s,” Haruka added thoughtfully.

“Wait, didn’t Rin train at Samezuka Monastery with Sousuke?”

Gou nodded.  “Yes, he did, for a year.  They don’t fight with blades at the monasteries, they use hand to hand martial arts from the mainland instead.  You three stayed in Iwami while Rin went to Sano, so you never got to see that.  But… I guess that style works for Rei.”

Haruka, who somehow had his katana with him this late at night, drew his sword and stepped out to face Rei.  There was a huge improvement in Rei’s performance, they soon saw, and though he still moved awkwardly, he held his own against Haruka admirably well.  He ended the duel not with the blade, but with a plain sharp chop against Haruka’s forearm with the side of his hand that immediately caused the normally stoic Haruka to flinch and drop his weapon.  Unorthodox, but as long as it worked…

“How did you find out what to do, Rei-chan?”

“I just… thought about what Haruka-san said the other day.”  Even with all of his knowledge, Rei could not quite describe the importance of Haruka’s silent companionship after one particularly unsuccessful session, how much that meant to him as he sought for his own way of the samurai.  But looking over at Haruka, he could tell that the other young man understood what he wanted to say.  “That I had my own way of fighting that worked,” Rei finished, smiling proudly.

They congratulated him on his revelation, encouraging him to continue improving, but there was a solemnity and restraint to their celebration.  This perfect summer was over now, and with the arrival of autumn, there would undoubtedly be change.  For better or worse, they could not yet tell.

 

* * *

 

Even though Rei was still unused to being accompanied at all times, it did not take long before he realized that he liked Nagisa’s constant presence, even during the darkest hours of the night, when he wished most to be alone.  With Nagisa in the same room, the nightmares that had plagued him for years did not seem so bad, and he could relax and sleep in a more comfortable position, instead of backed up against the wall, curled up tightly around himself.

Tonight, he stayed awake to watch Nagisa drift off beside him, after listening to him chatter about his favorite harvest festival sweets and snacks for much of the evening.  At Nagisa’s other side, Gou lay dozing, though she opened her eyes once he began snoring softly.  Rei met her gaze and reached over his friend to pull them both closer.

“What did you need to speak to me about… Gou-san?”  It had taken him a while to stop calling her Lady or Princess, when all throughout his childhood, that was how his family referred to her. 

“I just wanted to make sure you knew the truth about my brother, Rei,” she whispered.

“I did my research.  I know about him, and I know that if we are to succeed, we need to face him in a fair and unbiased situation.”

Sighing, Gou said to him solemnly, “Rin has been fighting since he was a child, and had fifty confirmed kills by the time he turned fifteen, with probably a dozen more unconfirmed kills.  He is not the same boy who rescued you, no matter what Makoto and Haru and Nagisa say.  I think… he is as good as Yazaki’s soldier now.  Are you sure you can do this?”

“I have to try, there is still a chance I can convince him to side with us where you four could not.”  He gave her his most encouraging smile.  “We can’t go home without his help, isn’t that so?”

Nagisa made a sleepy little sigh, burying his head further into Rei’s chest and dragging Gou with him.  Over Nagisa’s curly hair, Gou smiled shyly at Rei, whose cheeks flushed deeply in the moonlight.

“All right, but just know we would all be devastated if anything happened to you, Rei.”

“I do know, Gou-san, thank you.”  That was why he would not fail.

 

* * *

 

They set out for Iwami the next week, with four additional horses to carry them and their weapons and supplies which Makoto procured by magic, it seemed, or at least at a town Rei had not seen on his way there.  Rei also did not realize Gou was coming with them, but she refused to stay behind, and as it turned out, she was a warrior on her own, being a master archer.  With the inn locked up and its deed returned to Amakata-sensei, they began their journey home.


	4. Chapter 4

 

The moon shone with a strong silvery light, throwing the environment into bleached-bone white and charcoal black.  It was on a night like this his life had changed so many years ago, and Rei knew everything would change again tonight.  He left the others sleeping and struck out on his own to meet Rin at the agreed location.  By the seaside cliffs at the ruins of a shrine for an ancient sea god, where they would not be interrupted by either Yazaki’s men or the rightful heirs of Iwami.

A howling north wind brought down a flurry of dead leaves across the grassland, and with them, Rin Matsuoka.

“Rin-chan-san,” Rei said in greeting, too nervous to realize the ridiculousness of what he just said until after it came out.  Rin’s face twisted into a scowl, and with foreboding churning in his gut, Rei began to see for himself just how much Rin had changed from the memories they had.

“You have a lot of nerve coming to meet me alone, Ryuuguzaki.”

“You’ve read my letter, you know why I am doing this.  Haruka-san and Nagisa-kun and Makoto-san and Gou-san are returning to Iwami, and they need to know if you will help them, or if you will hinder them.  They believe that you would go with them.  Is this correct?”

“No,” Rin answered immediately.  “I will not betray my master.  That was the whole reason they left in the first place, now they must suffer the consequences of that choice.”

“But these are your friends, this is your sister!” Rei protested, unable to believe that the kind boy who cried when he had to leave him behind could turn into this heartless young man.  “They love you, they trust you, and you would choose a usurper, your father’s murderer, over them?!”

“What right do you have to lecture me, huh?!”

“Because I put my life into their cause, and even now you are still the most important person to them.  I cannot do what you can do, so I am asking you to please reconsider and help us all.”

“I have been helping them, all this time I did what I did so they could live in peace!  They lost my protection when they ran.  They are traitors just like your family, and they will be treated as such.”

“So you really would turn them in?  You would watch them be executed by Yazaki?”

“Watch?” Rin snorted disdainfully.  “I would be the one holding the sword.”

He had heard enough.  Rei crossed the gap between them in two steps, grabbing Rin by the front of his robe.  “Think about this, Rin-san!” he cried out.  “You don’t have to continue serving him!  Gou-san and your mother, they are no longer in danger, you can stop this now.  You have your friends with you, they would support you, you don’t have to be like this anymore!”

“I can’t stop!” Rin snarled, yanking Rei’s hands from his clothing.  “I don’t want to stop.  This is the only life I know. With Yazaki as my benefactor, there is nothing preventing me from becoming the strongest samurai in Japan.  If I do what you say, if I throw away everything I’ve accomplished to join a rebellion that may not succeed, then I am sure to lose the last thing that is left to me.  This sword, these hands, this is me now.  If you were a true samurai, you would understand!”

“I am a samurai.”

“What are you talking about?  You’re nothing but a scholar.”

“Perhaps I am not a traditional samurai, but I learned from Haruka-san and the others, and I’ve trained with many different masters.  I can fight in my own way if I have to.  I know what you are feeling, but I know anyone can change.  You can, too.”

“Show me then, Ryuuguzaki,” Rin challenged him, eyes glittering eagerly with blood lust.  “Show me what you are capable of.”

“Will it convince you if I defeat you in a duel?” Rei countered.  “Would you join our side if you lose?”

“Hah!  You’d have to kill me to convince me.”

“That would be illogical, and the exact opposite of what I want.”

“See?  You’ve already lost,” Rin retorted bluntly.  “When you bear a sword, you bear the burden of taking a life.  If you don’t come at me with the intent to kill, then you will never win.  You will only meet defeat and one day, your death.”

“I could not…  You saved me, I could never hurt you, even now.  You are a good person, Rin-san…”

“You really thought that I had changed since that night, corrupted by the new warlord’s ruthlessness or something?  Incredible, you are even stupider than I thought.”  Rin shoved Rei back a few paces, a manic grin on his face.  “I was always like this.  Your father was my first kill, your mother my second.”

“…What?”

“I would have killed your brother, too, if your bodyguard hadn’t gotten to him first.  He was my third kill, if I recall.”

“Th-that’s not…” Rei stammered, in utter shock.

“Open your eyes, I won’t ever change, no matter what you say!  Now come at me, Ryuuguzaki.  Avenge your family!”

His blood pounding in his ears, Rei drew his sword, and the shriek of Azure Wing was soon echoed by Rin’s own Blood Fang.

“I told you to return that sword to me, didn’t I?” Rin asked, sneering.  “Well, thank you, for keeping your promise.  It is my turn to finish what I have vowed.”

How did it come to this, Rei wondered in a daze, as he parried Rin’s first slash clumsily.  He could not possibly win, his composure devastated by this horrific discovery, his body shaking even more than the katana in his hands, his glasses slipping down his nose from the sheen of sweat that appeared as he tried to avoid being hacked to pieces.  Rin was too strong, he had been killing since he was twelve, and Rei had never taken a life before. 

But he thought of his friends, Nagisa and Gou, always cheering him up, his seniors, Haruka and Makoto, supporting him in their quiet way.  He remembered Sousuke and Kisumi, who risked punishment to help save him, and most of all, he remembered that boy Rin used to be, that everyone had believed in.  There was no way Rei could win against the Rin now, but he could still carry out the mission.  To bring his friends home.

He deliberately left himself wide open, and when Rin took the bait and swung his blade towards him, Rei caught it with one hand, gripping the steel tightly so that Rin could not pull it back.  Eyes wide in desperation, Rin yelled at Rei to let go.  The moment Rin yanked Blood Fang free, Rei lunged forward, striking at his center with the heel of his palm to knock him further off balance, then following it with the small dagger hidden in Azure Wing’s grip.

“H-how?” Rin mumbled weakly in confusion, staring at the knife hilt buried in his robes.  Slowly, he pulled the dagger free from his abdomen before collapsing into a heap at Rei’s feet, Blood Fang falling from his limp fingers.

Rin was still alive though, Rei had made sure that his aim would be true.  Once he was convinced that Rin could not summon an effective counter, he knelt down by the defeated samurai.

“Let me look at that, Rin-san,” he said quietly, too aware of how their positions had reversed.

“Rei…”  Rin choked on a sob, tears flowing freely down his face.  “Rei… why?  Why are you so nice to me?  Why are you trying to save me?”

Pushing up his glasses with a bloody hand, Rei considered telling the truth, then decided that what Rin needed most right now was logic.  “Along with Nanase, Tachibana and Hazuki, you have Yamazaki and Shigino banners flying for you and your mother and Gou-san.  Both branches of the Mikoshiba clans have agreed to fight for you, as well as Nitori.  Your troops would already outnumber Yazaki’s three to one, and I have not even contacted all of the clans in Sano yet.  Yazaki’s only son is too unstable to be trusted as commander.  The warlord would have to capitulate if he wants to live, and if you just banished him and his family, you could retake your home without spilling a single drop of blood.  You would finally free Iwami from the usurper’s unjust rule.”  Rei finished tying the bandage around Rin’s wound and sighed.  “But only you could do this.  Haruka-san could not, I cannot.”

“But why would anyone forgive me?  Why do you believe I can do this, after what I just told you?”

“Because… Haruka believes you can do it.  Makoto and Nagisa still trust you.  Gou still loves you, she would definitely forgive you.  And I believe in them, so… I believe in you, too.”

Rin’s shoulders began to shake, and Rei glanced at him in alarm.

“I would not recommend laughing right now, Rin-san!”

As soon as he calmed down, Rin shook his head.  “I am flattered by your faith in me, all of you, but I doubt the people of Iwami would want me as their leader, after what I’ve done as Yazaki’s dog.  All I’ve ever done was kill, you should know that.”

“Then make penance by being the best leader possible.  Stop your meaningless quest, become the ruler your father would have wanted you to be.”

With a shallow breath, Rin rolled his eyes with as much contempt as he could gather.  “I don’t think you understand what it means to be a samurai.”

“Well, I understand you cannot do much in the way of the sword without your sword.”  Realizing what he was about to do, Rin shouted for him to stop, but Rei just gathered their twin swords and marched to the cliffside and threw them out into the ocean below.

“You fool, do you realize what you’ve done?!” Rin shouted weakly as he struggled to his feet, hearing the final scream of the swords disappear within the crash of waves.

“Yes.  I have eliminated the origin of the bloodlust that is released every time you draw your sword, that keeps you on your mad quest.  I had hoped you would thank me?”

Ignoring that, Rin continued, “Obviously you don’t know, but those swords were forged from two fallen stars found melted together, that emitted a shriek when they got separated.  The katana blades forged by Sasabe-sensei from the stars are believed to be the sharpest and strongest in the land, but they were also known to be cursed.”

“I don’t believe in curses,” Rei interjected.

“Anyway!” Rin went on before Rei started digressing into a lecture from his Buddhist philosophies, “Anyway, even if you don’t believe it, I do.  The two swords are cursed because they had been separated when they should not have been.  No one who has wielded them has ever escaped a violent death, not even my father, who had both in his possession once.  I killed to get Azure Wing back for good, so that I would be the last to be cursed, at least for a while.  And when I realized you had Azure Wing, I thought it might still work if you never used it and just gave it back to me willingly some day.  But then you learned how to use the katana, and now you just threw both of them into the ocean like an idiot!  So we’re both cursed, thanks to you!”

“Well, how was I supposed to know?” Rei pointed out sensibly.  “No one told me about this unnecessarily complicated curse that I still don’t think inanimate objects are capable of enforcing.  Besides, what I did might have broken the curse.  The swords are together now.  They can do no more harm to anyone at the bottom of the sea, maybe they will leave us alone.”

“I doubt it,” Rin grumbled.

“Fine.  Supposing what you say is possible, then… I should stay with you.  As we are the last wielders of Blood Fang and Azure Wing, we should remain together for as long as we can, as the stars intended.  And I will make sure you do not die a violent death, that you will pass from this world in your sleep as an old man, surrounded by his wife and children and grandchildren who love him.”

“First off, I said I was fine with a violent death,” Rin insisted through gritted teeth.  “Secondly, I will never get a wife with you hanging around me all the time, much less children.  Thirdly, how do you know you will outlive me, I’m not that much older than you, maybe you will trip on something and break your neck first, huh!”

“But even so, you would let me stay with you?” Rei asked, looking very serious.

“If I don’t die from a knife to the stomach first, yes, I suppose I would,” Rin answered, lying back down on the grass, staring up at the night sky.  “You… seem to have planned my return to power very thoroughly.  That makes you just as necessary as I am to everyone’s future in Iwami.  If I have a future, anyway, why the hell did you stab me?”

“Oh, you will be fine, Rin-san,” Rei replied with a chuckle.  “I have trained as a doctor, I know what I am doing.  Unlike you.”

Rin could not even think of a reply scathing enough, he was so infuriated.  But more than the anger, he felt relief, the closest thing to peace and acceptance that he had known in years.

 

* * *

 

 

“Rin-chan!”  Nagisa and Gou raced to her brother’s side, with Haruka and Makoto close behind. 

“Brother, you’re alive!”

“Rin!  Are you okay?”

“Rin…”

“Yeah, I’m fine believe it or not,” he muttered, his grumpy tone belying the tears streaming from his reddened eyes while they tried to very gingerly hug him.  “You’re a little late, Rei already discussed things with me.”

“Wait, where is Rei-chan?”

“He went that way,” Rin said, pointing over his shoulder.

“H-he what?!  Oh no, Rei-chan!”

“What, no, he didn’t jump off the cliff or anything.”

“Then where is he?!”

“I’m down here, Nagisa-kun,” called out a wavering voice from somewhere not too far below the cliff’s edge.  “I was just checking to see where our swords went.  But now I can’t climb back up because my hand is bleeding again and I am feeling a little dizzy.”

In the end, it was Makoto who climbed down to the little ledge where Rei was crouched and got him back up safely.  They tended to Rei’s wounds, made sure Rin wasn’t going to pass out, and Haruka finally asked what the four of them had been wondering; what happened.

“None of your business, Haru!”

Clearing his throat, Rei announced proudly, “Rin will be joining us.  I convinced him.”  Then with a more embarrassed expression, “We also, um, seriously injured each other and lost our swords in the ocean.”

“Wow…” was all Nagisa could say after the awkward silence dragged on for a heartbeat too long.

“Actually, I think losing your swords might be for the best,” Makoto said with a knowing smile.  “I could sense that the swords suffered every time they were drawn, and finally, they are at peace.”

“But now we don’t have any weapons.  How am I supposed to lead an uprising swordless?”

“You can borrow the spare ones until I finish making new katanas for you both.”

“You’re making katanas again, Makoto?” Rin asked, too surprised to continue complaining.

“I started to do so over the summer, repairing our old ones, preparing new ones. I had a feeling that it was time, once Rei arrived at our inn.”  He brought out a long bundle from his saddlebags and showed the wrapped blades inside to them.  “See, they are almost finished.  Guaranteed to not curse you.  I made this one with you in mind, Rin.  And this one would be yours, Rei.”

“You always know what to do,” Rin murmured, sniffling.  “Thanks, Makoto.”

“Thank you, Makoto-san.  I will endeavor to be worthy of your work.”

“The only thing left is for you two to heal,” Haruka said.

“What, you wanna fight me already?” Rin responded, sitting up abruptly despite Gou trying to hold him back.  “I can take you right now, Haru, injured!”

Laughing, Nagisa wriggled in between the two of them.  “We have a warlord to overthrow, you can fight all you want after we win!”

“Nagisa-kun is right,” Rei told them all.  “We still have a lot of work to do to coordinate this rebellion.  I have drawn up some initial plans already, if you would like to take a look at them…”

“You are that confident you would succeed?” Rin asked him incredulously.

“Not at all.  But with these plans, Rin-san will definitely succeed, without a doubt.”

It was too dark to make out much of the writing and diagrams Rei had meticulously put to paper, yet one thing did not escape Rin’s notice.

“You should be with us, Rei.  You are making this happen, you are the reason we will win.”

Rei shook his head.  “I am not a warrior, I am a scholar.  I cannot take a life, I am only ensuring that no more lives will be lost unnecessarily.  You five are the true leaders of Iwami, I am just your humble servant.”

It was obvious that they disagreed, if anything, Rei looked more ready to kill than any of them at the moment, but for right now, they were reunited, and nothing else mattered so much.

 

 

* * *

 

The monks of Samezuka were there to formally witness the surrender of the usurper Yazaki, and the return of a Matsuoka to the seat of power in Iwami.  But for the assassination of his enemy, the defenseless Ryuuguzakis, as an example to the rest, Yazaki had not done anything any other warlord would not have done, and so he was allowed to choose a life of exile to the southern islands or ritual suicide.  He chose suicide, and the remaining clan members were left to endure exile on their own.

Rei watched the mourning family head for the docks accompanied by guardsmen, and to his surprise, he saw Yazaki’s two children embrace Haruka goodbye, the younger daughter kissing him on the cheek.

“Let us swim together again someday, Haruka…” they said, before rejoining the procession.

 

Haruka and Rei walked back to the palace in thoughtful silence, to be met by a joyful crowd in the courtyard of the Matsuoka compound.  Gou rushed over to take their hands and lead them to the central dais, where Rin was basking in the glow of victory with Nagisa and Makoto.  Together, all six of them accepted the praise and thanks of the citizens of Iwami.

“Did you forget about us?”  Sousuke was joining them on the platform, Kisumi at his side, the other samurai from Sano who had allied with them grouped close around.  “Congratulations, Rin.”

“I couldn’t have done it without everyone,” Rin said, laughing for the first time in forever.  “You guys are the real heroes, for taking the risk.  Thank you all for coming back and helping me.”  Whatever grand thing he wanted to say was interrupted by Nagisa barreling into his arms, bursting into tears of happiness, and everyone else trying to get in a hug, too, and Rin soon shouting at them to let go because he was starting to bleed again.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

It was decided that Rin’s mother would take over the warlord’s non-military duties until Rin felt confident enough to take on the role his father once held.  He did not lack for ability to lead, and he clearly had more than enough charisma and intelligence to bring people together even at his worst, but he felt the citizens of Iwami would not fully accept him, not at this point in his life.  He thought that perhaps they only allowed him back because Yazaki did not deserve to rule, because of his parents and because of Gou, and not because of the person he had become.  For now, Rin would only perform military tasks his mother and sister could not, and spend the rest of his time making amends for his violent past.

He knew he had to deal with Rei at some point in time, though he avoided that confrontation, instead working at settling accounts for others who might have suffered needlessly under Yazaki’s rule for the first few weeks after their return.  Rei seemed to have settled into life with society well enough, spending time with Haruka and Makoto and of course, Nagisa, at the dojo, accompanying Gou and her friend into town some days, and sleeping in the Matsuoka household in a guestroom at night because his own room had been burned down years ago.  There was probably no hurry to talk to Rei about murdering his parents and then abandoning him with a bunch of strangers or whatever.

As soon as he thought that, Rin saw Rei heading straight for him down a corridor, and he could not make a graceful escape without knocking over some serving girls.

“Rin-san!  I’m glad to catch you at last.  I have something very important to talk to you about.”

“Rei!  How uh, nice to see you.  I am busy at the moment, but what can I do for you?”

Rin began walking as fast as he could, but Rei, with his long legs, kept up easily.

“I ah, need to borrow some money.”

“What?  What happened to all the gold we left with you?  Did those monks steal it?”

“No.  But that was eight years ago, I had to use the last of it to pay for my teachers and their debts.”

What kind of teachers would run up debts, Rin wondered suspiciously.  “Fine, you can have some, Rei, how much do you need?”

“Enough to buy some hair combs for Gou.  There was a beautiful jade comb with a butterfly decoration that I saw in the market, I hoped to get it for her as a gift…”

Rin stopped so abruptly, Rei almost ran into him.  An expensive gift for Gou?  That could mean only one thing, which Rin frankly did not see coming at all, and the flash of disappointment he felt hurt more than it had any right to.

“Is that… a no?” Rei asked warily.

“No, no, I’ll get you the money now.  It’s not a problem.”  Rin turned into another hallway, entering his own room, and dug through a chest for a pouch of coins.  “Here, that should be more than enough.”

“Thank you, Rin-san.”  Hesitating for a moment, Rei added, “I know you said you were busy, but after you are finished with your work, would you like to come with me to the market?”

“Ugh, why?”

“I think the people would like to see you again, it would ease their minds.  And I’m sure Gou would love it if you got something for her, too.  You never talk to her, even now, so I think you should come with me and we can find something she would like together…”

The problem was that Rei was absolutely irresistible.  Even if Rin didn’t owe him everything, he would have canceled his appointments immediately and gone shopping with him anyway.

“The work wasn’t that important.  I’ll go with you, for a little while, all right?”

 

It turned out Rei wanted him along for other reasons.

“What the hell are you doing with that, get it away from me!” Rin shouted, dodging away from Rei.

“Rin-san, please stay still.  I want to make sure this comb would look good on Gou, and you two happen to have very similar features.”

Scowling furiously, Rin grudgingly let Rei slide the jade comb into his hair, while the merchants and shop girls at the nearby shop fronts tried their hardest to not laugh at the young lord’s predicament.  He glared at them, baring his teeth, and they promptly went back to other duties, leaving Rei to fuss over his hair in peace.

“Beautiful,” Rei murmured in open admiration of his handiwork.  “I think this one will do.”

“Let’s pay for it then and leave.”  Rin tugged the comb out of his hair and clutched at it tightly.

“No, you have to pick something out, too.”

With a huge sigh, Rin went back to look over the other hair ornaments on display.  He chose a set of hair sticks made of ivory, topped with carved cherry and plum blossoms in rose quartz and amethyst.

“Those would clash terribly with her coloring, Rin-san,” Rei said in a disapproving tone.

Rin nodded, blushing hotly when he realized he had been thinking of they would look on Rei instead of his own sister.  Setting the hair sticks down, they browsed the displays until they found a silver comb decorated with koi fish that Gou might like and purchased both.

“Thank you so much for coming with me, Rin-san.  If you need to go, I can find my way back.”

“I’m hungry,” Rin complained.  “Let’s get something to eat.”

Three hours later, after they had eaten what probably amounted to half of the huge variety of foods being sold down the main street, and after Rin bought Rei a new knife, “for your pens and stuff,” and after Rei stopped to admire prints at a book shop, and after Rin glared at pretty much the entire population of Iwami who were caught smiling at the two of them, they finally made it back to the compound.  Much poorer.

Gou, along with Nagisa, had been waiting for them to return, and when Rei presented her with the hair combs, she threw her arms about him, thanking him ecstatically, while Rin watched, very unamused.  Of course, Rei pointed out that her brother got her the silver comb, and so she jumped into Rin’s arms, squealing, and gave him a hug as well.  Then Nagisa asked if they got him anything, and with a fond smile, Rei handed him the bag of imported sweets he found at a stall, and it was all excessively cute, in Rin’s opinion.  Really made him want to vomit.

“Unlike some freeloaders around here,” he said loudly, “I have work to do, I’ll see you later.”

He left them in a hurry, knowing he sounded envious of their carefree days spent together, but he could not help himself.  Things were still awkward with Haruka and Makoto and Nagisa and Gou, even though they clearly forgave him, they could not easily go back to those long-ago summers when they played together without a worry in the world.  The fact that Rei had so easily incorporated themselves into his old group of course upset him, but Rei deserved to have friends way more than he did, and so he could not find a reason to stay jealous of Rei replacing him in their circle.  What really bothered Rin the most is that he wanted to spend time with Rei, too, time not wracked with guilt and shame, and their afternoon spent in the marketplace together only stoked that desire more fiercely.

 

* * *

 

 

It took a few conversations with Sousuke and Kisumi, his trusted friends who knew the truth about Rei and who were still lingering in Iwami for some reason, before Rin made his decision.

“Since Rei hasn’t tried to murder you in your sleep yet, I think it’s fine to approach him about you killing his family and kidnapping him and leaving him imprisoned at a monastery for years and then trying to kill him later when he was only thinking of reuniting you with your friends.  Seems like it will turn out well.”

Staring at Sousuke coldly, Rin next turned to Kisumi for his opinion.

“Rei is not in a position to say anything openly to you.  He has been raised to defer to you as the ruler of Iwami all his life.  If you want to know what he really thinks, you will have to ask him directly and privately.  Only then will you get your answer and be able to move on.”

So, more dramatic night-time confrontations.  Rin groaned.  Sleeping at night would be a thing of the past now.

Chuckling, Kisumi gave him an encouraging slap on the back.  “It will be fine, Rin.  Rei obviously doesn’t hate you that much, if he was willing to sacrifice his well-being to get you back to your friends.  As long as you prove that you are trying your best, I think he will forgive you.”

“Or he will wait to have you assassinated later when no one would suspect,” Sousuke muttered darkly.  “Either way, you have some time, better make good use of it.”

“Sousuke!  We’re trying to comfort Rin!”

“He can handle the truth.”

Rin ran his hands through his hair in irritation.  “Gah, I’ll talk to him tonight, get it over with. I want this to be perfect, so give me some ideas.”

“Whaaa?  You make it sound like you’re confessing your love, Rin!” Kisumi teased.

“I’m not!” Rin denied, feeling his face go red.  “I-I just don’t want him to think about hiring assassins!  If you recall, I’ve been killing people for the last eight years, not getting on someone’s good side.  So, what should I do, huh?”

“Treat him to dinner!”

“We all eat in the same room at the same time, there is no privacy…”

“Buy him a gift.”

“I already buy him everything, practically.”  Technically, his mother was buying everything for all of them.

“Do something with him that he likes!”

“You mean be boring and stuffy and Buddhist?”

“You’re not going to succeed with that attitude, Rinrin.”

 “Fine, I’ll ask Nagisa what to do.  He seems to be with Rei the most.”

“Nagisa?  Your rival in love, hmm?  That is some tough competition.”

Rin tried to laugh it off, but that exact same thought had insinuated itself into his brain some time ago and had not left.  “You are hilarious, Kisumi, so hilarious.”

“Just say the word, Rin, I’ll take care of Nagisa.”

“No, no more killing, Sousuke.  I’ll… think of something myself.” 


	6. Chapter 6

Everyone had gone to sleep for the night, and Rin still hadn’t thought of what to do or say regarding Rei.  This could not wait another day, he would lose his nerve by tomorrow.  He couldn’t believe himself right now, one of the most promising samurai in Japan too afraid to talk to his junior about the past.  Deciding to improvise, Rin headed towards Rei’s room, calling out softly before sliding the screen door open.  There was no one in the room, it looked as if Rei had not even prepared to sleep, and so Rin went off in search of him.  In the adjoining courtyard, he found Rei practicing with his new katana.  Unable to resist, Rin watched him from the shadows, admiring how he looked in the moonlight, so serious and focused and lost in his own world.  Clearing his throat, he stepped down into the courtyard, and Rei turned to smile at him.

“Your form’s improving,” Rin told him honestly.  “I guess they are drilling you in the traditional style at the dojo?”

“Yes, Haruka-san has been helping me improve.  But it’s still not easy to remember all the adjustments.”

“Yeah, you’re used to fighting hand to hand, like how they teach at Samezuka.  I used to train there, I could… give you some advice, if you want.”

“Could you, please, Rin-san?” Rei asked eagerly.  “I want to be worthy of carrying Makoto-san’s katana, and anything you could teach me would be appreciated.”

“Sure.”  They spent some time practicing and going over the basic form, Rin explaining things in further detail to the best of his ability, how he envisioned using the katana.  The traditional bushido emphasized perfect harmony, working with gravity and other forces for a deadly effortless grace, but in the way of the monks, one looked to the flow of chakra throughout all of nature to solidify their physical and spiritual balance.  It was only a slight difference, yet studying both methods would allow a warrior to become one with both body and sword, while following the chakra flow in the opponent and in nature, for maximum effectiveness.

It looked as if Rei was understanding, or at least he said he understood, and Rin took that as a positive sign of their relationship.  They could not really spar, not without waking up half the inhabitants, which was too bad, as he really wanted to see if Rei could beat him without last-resort tactics.  So he took a chance, moving just behind Rei’s shoulder to adjust the position of his sword arm.  But after doing that, he noticed that Rei started to slump a little, and he had to fix that, too.  It was natural, he would later argue, that he would end up bringing both arms around Rei’s middle, and perfectly logical to be holding the other one in a close embrace, for the sake of demonstrating good posture and stance, of course.

That being said, Rin could not come up with any good excuse for leaning forward to rest his cheek against Rei’s ear, to inhale his scent and also get a mouthful of hair in the process.  Rei laughed nervously, face reddening, and he turned his head slightly to glance at Rin with admiring eyes.

“It’s been a while since we were like this, hasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Rei murmured.

“You’ve grown a lot,” Rin whispered.  “Not a little boy anymore.”

“You’ve grown, too, I notice.”

Rei was almost certain Rin was going to make a move on him even more intimate than one of his hands dipping below his waist, and Rin was almost certain of it, too, but something else had to be addressed first.

“Take off your sandals, Rei,” he commanded, taking off his own pair as well.

“Aha!  You’re just as tall as I am!” Rin exclaimed, now able to stare Rei directly in the eyes.

“Yes, that seems to be the case.”

“Absolutely unfair.  You’re probably not even done growing.”  Not pouting, but close to it, Rin sighed and dropped his chin onto the meat of Rei’s shoulder, causing Rei to snort aloud at the ticklish sensation.  After a brief scuffle, almost dropping katanas and tripping over sandals, Rin finally tore himself away in order to address Rei properly.

“I need to talk to you in private. Come with me, Rei.”

“Yes, Rin-san.”

Having gotten Rei comfortable, to a point, and in his room, Rin encountered still more obstacles to his intended conversation.  Namely, how amazing Rei looked, just kneeling on the floor looking at him expectantly, that shouldn’t affect him so much.  But it did.

“I never asked, but I wanted to know from you, honestly, if you’ve forgiven me for killing your parents.”

Rei looked at him icily.  “Of course not.”

He figured as much.

“Murder, unnecessary killing, is unforgivable by Buddhist tenets.  It is not in my place to grant you pardon, either.”  Rei paused, pushing his glasses up unconsciously.  “But I understand what you did, why you did it, and I do not blame you.  You were just a child.  You had loved ones of your own you needed to protect.”

That sounded more promising than Rin could have hoped for.  “I know I could never do enough penance for their deaths, I am not asking you to forgive me if you can’t, but… if you ever need anything from me, tell me, I will make it happen.  You shall not want for anything that it is in my power to grant, Rei.  I owe you that much, at least, for taking away your loved ones and your home from you.”

Rei shook his head.  “Let me explain first, Rin-san.  I did love my parents, but they knew this was going to happen and told my brother and me so.  My mother had been a master of poisons at the imperial court before she married my father.  Yazaki had my parents killed because he knew she was plotting his death, in order to prevent the death of your father, Lord Matsuoka, which had been urged by other nobles in the capital.  It was inevitable, the downfall of our clan, the loss that no one would miss, although my parents had hoped my brother and I would be spared.  I miss them all deeply still, I just… moved on.”

“So it was partly my family’s fault that yours had to die.  I am sorry.”

“We were your servants, Rin-san.  That risk comes with the position.”

“No, you aren’t my servant, Rei, not anymore,” Rin said sternly.  “You’re free to do whatever you want.  You can leave here at any time.  I owe you everything, you don’t have to do anything for me if you don’t want to.”  Of course, he wanted Rei to stay, more than anything, but he did not deserve that right.

“But Rin-san,” Rei demurred in an almost teasing tone.  “I said I was going to stay with you until you died of old age, remember?”

That made Rin laugh.  He almost forgot about that promise.  Those cursed swords were good for something then.  “Still, if you need to leave to, I don’t know, study something, you can.  I think I will be fine.”

“I will keep it in mind, but I don’t want to leave, not for a while.  I like it here.” 

“With me?”

“In general.  But I like being with you, too, Rin-san,” Rei answered smoothly.

Rin exhaled in relief, not realizing how tense he had been until just now.  So he wasn’t even remotely forgiven, and Rei could still decide to leave, and he apparently wasn’t the person Rei liked the most, but… he felt ridiculously triumphant anyway.

“Great.  I’m going to sleep now, you should, too.”  Rin shuffled over to his blankets and pillows which still had not been put up.

“Ah, should I stay and sleep with you?”

“What?!  N-no!  Go to your room!”

“I would feel better if I slept here,” Rei said in a tone that invited no argument.

“Uhh…”  He couldn’t refuse him, not after what he just promised, so Rin waffled for a moment.  “All right, fine.”

“You know it helped me to rest better when I slept with Nagisa and Gou, back at the inn, though of course it would be impossible to do the same nowadays.”

Rin gaped at him, not sure if Rei was trying to make a joke and if it was, he needed to be taught better jokes.  “You slept with my sister?!”

“Yes, and with Nagisa.  Oh, don’t give me that absurd look, Rin-san, we just talked before we fell asleep, nothing happened.”

Rin supposed he never really feared for his sister’s virtue, not that it was his business what she did with whatever handsome, well-muscled swordsmen were around, but regardless, his envy only increased.  To be left out of the group of five, then to be left out of whatever weird thing these three had… He wasn’t sure his ego could take another attack.

With a sigh, he wriggled out of one sleeve of his robe, pleased to feel the cool air against his hot skin.  Rei had moved closer, watching him intently, and Rin paused.

“Can I help you?”

“I just want to check your wound, while we are still up.”

Suddenly feeling more heated than ever, Rin slipped the rest of his kimono top down, while Rei ran his fingers delicately over the pink scar on his abdomen.

“It’s healed,” Rin muttered.

“It does not look beautiful, though,” Rei said with a regretful frown. 

“Field medicine rarely does,” Rin assured him.

“Still, I should have done a better job.”  He withdrew his hand just as Rin shuddered.  “Are you cold?”

“No, I… I’m going to sleep now, Rei.”

“Oh.  Sorry.”

Lying down on the mats, Rin watched with a dry mouth as Rei slid the top half of his kimono off his shoulders, and then untied his hair ribbon, setting it some distance away next to his glasses.  That was absolutely unnecessary, and yet Rin did not even want to blink as Rei settled down next to him, facing him.

“If it would not bother you, may I hold you, Rin-san?”

It took Rin two tries to squeak out a “yes you can,” but he managed to say it without his face bursting into flames.

“You can hold me, too, if you like.”  Well, Rei certainly wasn’t shy about expressing what he wanted, that was made clear.

Against his better judgment, Rin did so, slipping one arm over Rei’s bared torso, pulling their bodies closer together.  Rei soon said good night and closed his eyes, falling asleep almost immediately afterward.  He probably did not think much of it, he was just sleeping with Gou’s no longer as deadly older brother, but Rin was thinking very much about it.  Almost desperately, Rin wished that it could just be physical lust, something that could be taken care of and forgotten in no time, but there was so much more than that going on.  He wanted to be with Rei in every meaning possible, he thought he would go mad without Rei in his life (the opposite of what he first told him, to be fair), and above all, he wanted to be the only one for whom Rei felt these same feelings.  If he even felt such feelings, it was hard to tell.

But that did not seem likely or possible.  There could never be anything between them, not with the slight difference in their ages, the much larger difference in their social statuses, there would never not be a time in which one of them didn’t feel like they owed or were obliged something to the other.  There was Gou as well… for all Rei claiming that they had only talked, he saw how his sister looked at Rei, they clearly were more than friends. 

But for this night, he finally had Rei in his arms, and that was the only thing he wanted to think about.  Closing his eyes, Rin kissed the slumbering young man lightly on the forehead and tried to go to sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, the fever and drug influenced conclusion to this story, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed (??) writing it. But wait, there is a little more I had planned, stay tuned for the conclusion which may or may not have some actual Rin/Rei frick-frack! (I say as I never end up writing it.)

The next morning, Rin woke up to the sound of Kisumi and Sousuke talking to each other right next to him.

“Guess I lost the bet,” Sousuke was saying, and Rin shot up straight from the blankets.

“Do you guys know how to knock?!” he hissed in the quietest voice he could. “And what about a bet?”

“I was betting you two would ah, resolve your differences by the morning, Sousuke didn’t believe me.  Now I’m ten gold coins richer!”

“I’m going to kill you guys.”

“You’d have to kill Gou, too, she was the one who told us to come here and see for ourselves.”

“Can’t kill Gou…” Rin muttered glumly.  Now everyone was going to know, if he remembered anything about his sister and her big mouth.  He doubted people would make a serious fuss about it, but still, how embarrassing.

“I didn’t think you had it in you, Prince No-Time-for-Relationships-Too-Busy-Killing.”

“I’ll have you know we didn’t do anything,” Rin replied, all haughtiness.  “We just slept together, he apparently can’t sleep well at night without someone in the same room.”

“Oh… I suppose that explains why he sometimes passes out in the middle of the day.”

“Rin-san?” Rei murmured, blinking and stretching while Kisumi and Sousuke stared at him very intently.  Rin moved to break their line of sight with his own frown and a firm “Oi.”

“Good morning, Rei,” he said, his voice loaded with false sweetness.  “Kisumi and Sousuke came by, but they were just about to leave.”

“Oh.”  Rei sat up, brushing his long hair back from his still naked shoulders.  “Good morning, Kisumi-san, Sousuke-san.”

They gave Rin identical meaningful looks, and Rin shoved them back out of the room, slamming the door shut.

“What was that for?”

“Nothing.  Honestly, I have no idea why those two haven’t returned to Sano yet, they’re not needed here anymore.”

“Rin-san, you have so many friends from Sano as well,” Rei commented with a sigh.  “I’m a little jealous.”

“I guess it’s nice to have them around every now and then.”  As much as they riled him up sometimes, he trusted Sousuke and Kisumi with his life, and they remained good friends even after he moved back to Iwami.  “Anyway, enough about those two… let me fix your hair.”

Rei gave him a distrusting look, remembering the last time Rin got his hands on his hair all those years ago.

“I’ll just brush it and tie it back, I won’t cut it,” Rin muttered, red-faced.  He soon busied himself with combing out Rei’s hair, admiring its silky sheen and deep color as the strands slipped through his fingers, then he gathered it neatly and tied it together with a ribbon.  Rin remembered doing this for Gou when they were young, and several times for Haruka and Makoto and Nagisa, who never could keep their hair neat as he would have liked for them to, and suddenly he felt like seeing them all again.

As Rei straightened out his hair for him, Rin decided to put off his work for the afternoon and go to the dojo with him instead.  He could spar a few times with Haruka, check out the latest developments in swordsmanship elsewhere; it would be fun to actually use the katana Makoto made for him once.  Then he would go straight back to his duties.

 

* * *

 

Upon entering the dojo where Haruka and the others trained, he immediately stumbled upon Gou, who had apparently been practicing her archery.

“Brother!” she called out, running over to him.  “We haven’t seen you here in a while, welcome back!”

“Yeah, I’ve been busy.  Anyway…”  He yanked her closer, lowering his voice.  “What exactly did you tell Sousuke and Kisumi?  When you, you know, found us together?”

“I just told them that you two had such perfect bodies.”

“You what?!  Gou, seriously?!”  This was even worse than he had feared.

“But I emphasized that your body was more perfect than Rei’s, by a small margin!”

He put his hands on her shoulders, opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again.  “The entire dojo just heard us, didn’t they?”

“Um.”  She glanced around at the suddenly silent building full of people who were staring at them, and nodded.  “Yes?”

Rei’s expression was torn between embarrassment and mortification, he could not even take his hands away from adjusting his glasses, his face was so red.  But at least he recovered quickly, blurting out something about researching techniques to Nagisa, who had been standing beside him nattering away about his day before Gou’s outburst. 

No one moved or said anything for a few moments, not even the tiny old master who had been sweeping the floor with broom.

Then, as if a dam finally burst, Nagisa exploded into giggles, and every one of the samurai who had been listening in started laughing, as if they had never laughed before.  They might have been trying to tease Rin about any number of embarrassing things now brought to light, but he couldn’t understand a single word because they were wheezing and gasping and crying too hard.

Rin could not come up with any appropriate reply to this situation except “You all wanna fight me, huh?!”

Rei admonished him, reminding him that it was no longer necessary to kill, that these were his allies, and other various topics along that line, but Rin had already drawn his katana and was wading through the crowd, slashing away.

“Watch me, I will show you something special!”

Not only were Haruka and Makoto and Nagisa there, but also the Mikoshiba brothers and Aiichirou from the Nitori clan, along with Sousuke and Kisumi, so Rin had plenty of candidates with which to take out his anger.  By the time Rei finished his lecture, Rin had sheathed his sword, and the still laughing group of samurai were on their knees, all of their sword belts and obi cut, and their robes and hakama fallen to the ground in piles of cloth.

“M-muscles!” Gou shrieked at the feast of superbly toned bodies now made visible to her eyes.

Haruka, the final challenger, still clothed, drew his sword, and Rin grinned like a fiend.

“With this sword,” Haruka announced, “I will defend Rei’s honor against you, Rin.”

“What?!  I was defending his… never mind!  I will humiliate you once and for all, Haru.  Now taste defeat!”

The two rivals charged at each other, slicing and parrying, jumping over the doubled over bodies of their comrades and generally causing a lot of property damage before the master of the dojo slapped their wrists with a bokken and scolded them for horsing around in serious place of learning.

“Tch, I was getting hungry anyway,” Rin muttered, sheathing his katana and glaring at Haruka.  “Time for dinner.”

“Oh, are you paying, Rin-chan?” Nagisa asked with a perfectly innocent smile.

“Do I look like I’m paying, you little devil?”

“Yes!”

“Hey, everyone, Rin’s paying for dinner!” Seijurou, the older Mikoshiba, yelled out in an overly loud voice, and everyone in the dojo cheered.

Rei just shook his head warningly when Rin was about to protest, and so he sighed and went along after the re-clothed group, wondering just how much his mother was going to yell at him later.

They all headed out to town, spreading out to eat their fill at the various restaurants and stalls, putting it on the Matsuoka tab.  As if that wasn’t enough, they began drinking, too, all the sake and beer they could put away, which was a lot.  Rin dreaded what the total would amount to, it wasn’t as if his family was actually wealthy, but as the night flowed on, he could hardly mind.  Everyone was having fun, so was he, what could it hurt?

 

* * *

 

The pain came later, in the form of nausea and headaches and general malaise, as the group dispersed long past midnight, dragging themselves back to their lodgings, some even being carried by opportunistic cart drivers.  Somehow he ended up with Gou nodding off in his arms, followed by Rei carrying an unconscious Nagisa on his back. 

“I guess we should have believed you when you said you have never drunken alcohol before,” Rin started, just to have some sort of conversation as they walked along the main road.

“Can we please not talk about this?” Rei asked with a groan.

“It was pretty incredible how you managed to vomit all over me and not anyone else.  You didn’t even eat that much.”

“Rin-san, one more word and I will throw up the rest of my stomach on you on purpose.”

He shook his head, laughing at Rei’s misery.

They stopped at the Hazuki residence to deposit Nagisa into his own room, Rin waiting in the hallway as Rei fussily tucked a blanket over the still sleeping Nagisa and refilled the pitcher with fresh water for him to drink later.  He stared at the starry sky all the while, feeling his sister’s weight dragging at his shoulders, before finally Rei told him he was ready to go back.

With a sigh of relief, Rin set Gou down in her room, gathering her pillows and blankets and making her comfortable.  Rei watched as Rin took care of his sister with a fond gleam in his eyes and could not help smiling to see a master swordsman get all affectionate over his younger sibling.

“So… what do you think?” Rin asked softly, glancing over at Rei.  “I figured you were going to ask me earlier, I am surprised you haven’t.”

“About… what?”  Rei had no idea, apparently.

“About Gou.  You and Gou… together?”  He stuttered over the next word.  “Forever?”

“You mean… you want us to… get married?”

“Isn’t that what you want?  You spend most of your day with her, you said you two often talked during the night, you even made me buy some hair combs for her…”  Rin trailed off once he saw Rei’s expression grow from curious to outright incredulous and began kicking himself mentally for opening his stupid mouth.

“I am sorry if that’s what you were expecting, I did not realize my actions could be interpreted as such,” Rei replied carefully.  “I do love her, but as I love Nagisa, as my first true friends.”

Rin just stared at him, all of his thoughts turned to a jumbled mess as he tried to sort out this latest confession.

“It never even crossed my mind to ask for her hand,” Rei continued, looking down at the floor, “but I would not marry her, as wonderful as she is.”

“Let me guess, is it because you are a celibate?”

Smiling, Rei shook his head.  “Certainly not that.  Mostly because Gou deserves a true prince who can care for her and provide for her family, which I cannot do, being landless and penniless and of a different class.”

“But Gou loves you in spite of all that.  You would make her happy, deliriously so.  You are handsome and smart and skilled, a doctor even, you listen to her and have always been kind to her, what more could she want?  You’re perfect!”  Rei was.  “Look, if Gou did choose to marry you, and I granted your family’s land back and made you a samurai, would you agree to marry her?”

“I would do everything I can to convince her to choose someone else more suitable.”

“Why?”

“Because I, uhhh…”

“Yes?” Rin prompted after an embarrassed silence on Rei’s part.

“Because… it’s a secret.”

“You can tell me, I can keep a secret.”

“N-no, you definitely cannot hear this particular secret, it is not for you in any way.”

Rin may have made some poor decisions in the past, but he was pretty clever, too.  “All right, fine, I’m just going to guess your secret then.”

“Wait, Rin-san, stop!” Rei hissed.

“The reason you won’t marry Gou is because… you made a promise to someone else.”

“Rin-san!”

“You want to be with this someone else forever, no matter what happens.”

Rei scrambled over to Rin’s side, holding his hand out as if to stop Rin from continuing.

“And this person is…”  Rin did not continue, on account of Rei stumbling over the hem of his kimono and falling into his arms, which would have been great if they ended up kissing, but unfortunately, they knocked heads instead and Rei’s glasses fell off.

“Shit!”

“This person is not shit,” Rei whispered disapprovingly at such ugly coarse language while rubbing his forehead.

“I know that, I said shit because I think I broke your glasses.”

“Oh.”  There was a pause as they peered at the spectacles on the floor, and Rei picked them up, tested the wire frames gingerly.  “I think they should be fine.  Anyway, as I was saying… this person is you, Rin-san.  And you are not, as you put it, shit.”

“Hah, I knew it was me.”

“You absolutely did not know that, please don’t lie.”  Putting his glasses back on, Rei leaned forward and kissed Rin lightly on the cheek.  “You were the one I want to be with, Rin-san, despite everything that has happened between us, I cannot imagine life without you now.  Unless I am mistaken, I think you feel the same?”

“Yes.  I mean, no, you are not mistaken, I do want to be with you, forever.”  He kissed Rei back, on the mouth this time, causing them to both blush fiercely.

“So we finally agree on something without having to argue about it for hours?” Rei asked, with the happiest smile Rin had ever seen on his face.

Chuckling under his breath, Rin nodded, trying his best to not cry and failing.  “Yes,” he repeated.

**Author's Note:**

> (If you were linked here by Stars on Tumblr, that person is not me in any way, even though we post in the same time zone and have the same speech/typing patterns and think of the same headcanons for Rin/Rei and did the same thing for the same Secret Santa, we are absolutely not the same person at all. Nope.)


End file.
